Dying Inside
by Kaiyo No Hime
Summary: Kakashi is worried about Naruto. Sasuke is determined to figure out what this mysterious illness is. [COMPLETE]
1. Promises

If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be sewing my own costumes together, and living off of dollar store food. 

So, in simple terms, I do not own Naruto now, and I doubt I ever will. . 

Italics means a flashback. Unless it's only one word in italics, then the word is accented and strengthened. .

* * *

Dying Inside 

Chapter One: Promise

* * *

_ "No, get away from me! Get away from me, please!" Naruto screamed, his high pitched child's voice echoing against the alley walls, "Why do you hate me so!?" _

"You stupid brat," the man growled, the stench of whiskey hanging around his large frame, "You killed my wife!" 

"I didn't kill anyone!" the four year old sobbed, backing against a dead end, "Please, just leave me alone!" 

"I don't think so, whore," the man smiled wickedly, undoing the ties on his pants. 

"Please, don-" Naruto's voice broke as he screamed in agony, tears streaming down his face. 

. 

Naruto turned over in bed, looking over at his alarm clock, thanking it mentally. Every morning, without fail, it managed to wake him up from the nightmares his mind visited upon him. He loved his little alarm clock more than ramen itself. 

"I don't think I want any ramen this morning," the blonde sighed, glaring up at the cracked ceiling above him. 

He wasn't sure whether or not to curse the morning for making him have to remember why the people hated him, or to bless the sunshine for letting him escape the pain of the hatred of the village. 

Either way, he knew he had to be at Team Seven's meeting place in half an hour. 

. 

Kakashi looked down at his team, observing them silently before he 'arrived' for the daily missions. He enjoyed this quite solitude, watching Sakura chase Sasuke, and Naruto chase Sakura. How he missed the carefree days of childhood, even if none of his students, save Sakura, had ever had the carefree days of childhood. 

Not long enough to enjoy them, anyway. 

"So sorry to be late," Kakashi grinned, "But I got caught up in following a butterfly-" 

"LIAR!" Sakura and Naruto shouted. 

Sasuke merely grunted. 

"Well, as much as I would love to work you all to the bone," Kakashi began, glancing toward Naruto, "I'm afraid that I have other matters to attend to today! So you all are dismissed. Except for you Naruto." 

Sakura cheered, heading back toward her home to catch up on beauty sleep, while Sasuke remained, glaring at the hyperactive blonde. 

"Are you giving him special training?" Sasuke demanded, sure that his sensei was placing the good of one student above the needs of another. 

"Of course not, Sasuke. I just need to talk to Naruto about a new flavor of ramen!" Kakashi replied, patting the ebony haired boy on the head, and scooting him down the path. 

Sasuke glared at Naturo, and then at Kakashi, but continued on his way down the path, unobserved, leaving his clone hiding in the trees to inform him later of the private meeting. 

. 

"What do you want, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto grumbled, already knowing what was coming before the words left the silver haired Joanna's mouth. It was more than obvious by his glare. 

"You haven't been to the hospital for your check up," Kakashi reminded the blonde. 

Naruto suddenly found his feet extremely interesting, fidgeting under his sense's intense glare. He didn't feel like explaining that he didn't care anymore, about his illness, or anyone else. 

"You promised Sandaime that you wouldn't let your ninja life get in the way of you illness, and you promised Tsunade and Jiraiya as well. You wouldn't break your promises to them so easily, would you?" 

"No," Naruto whispered, drawing spirals in the sand at his feet, "But I'm tired of getting shots and blood tests. It doesn't matter, everyone in this village wants me dead anyway, so why should I keep going?" 

Kakashi felt his anger snap as he slapped the boy across the face, sending the orange clad boy flying to the ground, anger raging through his face. He had accepted the boy before ever meeting him, allowing him a place on his Team when the other Jounin's had faltered. He had nearly gotten himself killed defending him, and now, to hear those filthy words escape his mouth! 

"Is Iruka nothing!? And Jiraiya and Tsunade!? Are they nothing too!? What do you think would happen if you died on them, after they put so much of their hearts into raising and training you!? Any selfish brat who can talk as you do deserves to die more than any filthy demon!" Kakashi barked, lifting the boy up and shaking him, hard. 

"I'm sorry," Naruto whispered, tears streaming down his face, "But I'm just so tired of living like this." 

Kakashi smiled, wrapping Naruto up in a hug, "It's okay. We all give up sometime. We just have to force ourselves past the bumps in the road. Everything will be better someday, I promise." 

"Do you really promise?" Naruto snuffled, his eyes drooping as Kakashi picked him up. 

"I promise, with all my heart," Kakashi whispered, bounding lightly toward Konohagakure. 

. 

"What's wrong with Naruto?" Sasuke questioned his clone as it recounted its story to him. 

The clone shook its head, indicating that the blonde's illness was never mentioned during the conversation. But Sasuke knew it must be serious if Kakashi would raise his voice to the boy. 

"I wonder if this illness could be of any use against him," Sasuke whispered silently, dissolving the clone with a quick kunai to the chest. 

This new situation was definitely worth looking into. 

. 

Authoress' Notes: I know, I know! I should be working on _Return of the Lost_ right now, but there is a reason why I'm not uploading a chapter of that and instead uploading this. 

One, a major case of writer's block. Leave it to me to get stuck half way through a chapter AGAIN! .; 

Two, I wrote this first! :p 

Actually, I wrote this while watching the movie Orca. Yes, I know it's a really bad movie, but I've liked it ever since I was a little girl. Just call it an odd sense of me. 

Well, do review please! I promise to get the next chapter up as soon as possible! . 

Oh, remember, Kumori Con will be in Portland, Oregon September 4th-6th, and it's $35 at the door for the entire weekend! So do come and have fun! . 


	2. Ramen

If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be sewing my own costumes together, and living off of dollar store food. 

So, in simple terms, I do not own Naruto now, and I doubt I ever will. . 

Italics means a flashback. Unless it's only one word in italics, then the word is accented and strengthened. .

* * *

Dying Inside 

Chapter Two: Ramen

* * *

Naruto glared at the doctor standing before him, Kakashi resting his hand on the blonde's shoulder. From the way the man was looking over the test results, both Naruto and Kakashi knew it would be bad news. 

"Its come out of remission, hasn't it?" Naruto sighed, not waiting for the doctor to speak first. 

"I'm afraid so. But, if you take it easy for a while, and take your medicine, you should be fine," the doctor smiled, looking up at Kakashi. 

"I guess this means Team Seven will be refusing missions for now," the silver haired jounin sighed, rumpling Naruto's hair. 

The blonde glared up at him, "Why should Team Seven refuse missions!? I'm just fine, aren't I doc?" 

"I'm afraid not, Naruto," the doctor explained, "If you over exert yourself, you could make the attack worse. And then I would be forced to pull you off active ninja duty permanently." 

Naruto paled visibly at the comment, and Kakashi sighed. While the news would convince Naruto to obey the doctors orders for once, it probably would scare him away from basic training for as long as the doctor advised. 

"Don't worry about it, Naruto. A basic part of ninja training is also learning to relax, and take life easy for a while. And it's never to early to start that training!" 

"You're just saying that because you want to read that dirty book of yours," Naruto pointed out, glaring at his sensei. 

Kakashi chuckled sheepishly, and patted Naruto on the head. 

"If you'll hold still for a moment," the doctor smiled, injecting a dose of medication into Naruto's arm as the blonde was glaring, "Now, I want to see you back here in a week. Sooner if you show signs of symptoms worsening." 

"Yes doctor," Naruto sighed, standing up with a sigh. 

. 

"Don't worry, Naruto, I'm sure this will be the last time you'll need medication," Kakashi reassured him, walking his student home. 

"That's what Iruka said last time, too. And the time before that, and the time before that. I don't think it will ever get better, sensei," Naruto sighed, suddenly feeling drained as he watched Sasuke approach him through the busy market place. He really wasn't in the mood to face off against his rival right then. 

"Dobe, since you aren't busy right now, I challenge you to a fight!" Sasuke smirked, knowing full well that Naruto would accept the challenge. 

"Teme! I told you not to call me that!" Naruto growled, striking a fighting stance almost immediately. 

Kakashi groaned inwardly, wondering what deity he had angered so badly that they had cursed both boys upon him. 

"Sasuke, why don't you go train alone. Your chakra reserves are ever worse than Sakura's, and I'm sure you have time to spare working on them if you can waste time challenging Naruto," Kakashi snapped, grabbing Naruto's arm before he could do anything stupid. 

Sasuke glared at his sensei, "This isn't over yet, dobe," and with a tell tale poof of smoke, Sasuke disappeared from the crowded market. 

"What'd you do that for!? I could have kicked his ass easily!" Naruto roared, kicking Kakashi in the shin. 

"Because the doctor told you to take it easy, remember? I'd hate to have to explain to the Hokage why I would be requesting a new student from the Academy," Kakashi explained, stopping outside of Ichiraku and motioning for Naruto to sit. 

"I'm not that hungry, sensei," Naruto sighed, backing away from the ramen stand, his face pale and slightly green. 

Kakashi eyed him worriedly. He obviously needed food to keep his health up. And it was seriously unlike him to refuse a free bowl of ramen, especially after being ordered to refuse a fight with his rival. 

"How about you spend the evening with Iruka? I'm sure you recount all sorts of wondrous stories of our missions to him!" Kakashi smiled, pointing out the waving chuunin. 

Naruto smiled, and waved back, jumping up and down on Kakashi's foot. 

"All right!" 

"Ah, Naruto, how are you doing today?" Iruka smiled, flashing a quizzical look at Kakashi. It wasn't often that the silver haired jounin toured the village with any of his students. 

'He came out of remission,' Kakashi signaled quickly with a few hand gestures over his students head. Iruka nodded his head in understanding, patting the blonde's head with a smile as he signaled back at Kakashi. 

'How bad is it?' 

'He refused ramen,' Kakashi sighed, watching Iruka's eyes go wide. 

It was a bad sign for someone as sick as Naruto to suddenly start refusing his favorite food. Especially with all the stress he had been put through in the last few months with his training, and the Akatsuki. 

Kakashi was beginning to wonder if it had been so wise for Sandaime to allow Naruto to pursue a life as a ninja. It was obviously beginning to seriously effect his life, much to both sensei's dismay. 

"Iruka-sensei? What's wrong?" Naruto asked, suddenly concerned as he looked between his teachers. 

"It's nothing, Naruto. Why don't we go to my place for a cup of tea?" Iruka smiled weakly, holding the blonde's hand as they continued toward his apartment. 

. 

Authoress' Note: Eeep, I still haven't told what the illness is! .; 

Don't worry, it will come out in later chapters. It's not AIDS, I can assure you that now. I would have had Naruto fall over dead of that YEARS ago if he had had that. .; 

It's not the illness that is important, per say, it's how it effects his life and the lives of those around him that's really important. Sorta like how Gunslinger Girl isn't about the violence, but about how being a weapon affects the girls lives. . 

Thanks to all my WONDERFUL reviewers: dark-and-daisuke, Polka dot, Kyuubi-chan, kitsune, LoveinItStrong, Dargon Sheinto, Hitomi No Ryu, chibified kitsunes, trubluewolfeyes, and danna-chan. 


	3. Morning Coffee

If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be sewing my own costumes together, and living off of dollar store food. 

So, in simple terms, I do not own Naruto now, and I doubt I ever will. . 

Italics means a flashback. Unless it's only one word in italics, then the word is accented and strengthened. .

* * *

Dying Inside 

Chapter Three: Morning Coffee

* * *

"Why won't you make it better?" Naruto asked, leaning against the cage doors as tears stung at his eyes. 

"Because I don't know how, little human," Kyuubi answered, looking down at the little boy. 

"How can you not know how!? You've made everything else better, why not this too!?" 

"Because this isn't a flesh wound!" Kyuubi roared back in anger, gnashing her teethe against the metal bars. 

"Then just let me die!" Naruto sobbed, collapsing to his knees, "I'm tired of living like this! I'm tired of being sick." 

"I'm sorry, little one, but there isn't anything I can do. This evil is beyond my knowledge," the demon fox crooned, wrapping a tail around the crying boy, warming him into a gentle sleep. 

. 

"I refuse!" Kakashi snapped, glaring at Tsunade with fire in his eye. 

"You can't refuse! It's an order!" Tsunade snapped, clenching her fists in anger. 

"Team Seven can't take on a mission now, Naruto is ill! It would kill him!" 

"It's not a serious mission, Kakashi! You just have to walk with the client to his destination, and return. It should take a week to get there and back again, tops," Tsunade snapped, resisting the urge to pound the shinobi standing before her into a bloody pulp. 

"If it's so easy, then why is it even considered a mission?" Kakashi pointed out, "I'm sure another Team could be spared if it's that important!" 

"We don't have any teams to spare, Kakashi, and you know it!" Tsunade pointed out, "Besides, a nice, leisurely walk would do Naruto some good. All the client wants is some company on his way home, apparently he detests traveling alone." Tsunade sighed, slumping back in her chair. She hated being Hokage at times like these. 

"Fine, but if _anything_ happens to Naruto, I'll hold you responsible," Kakashi growled, leaving the room in anger. 

"Don't you think I'll hold myself responsible too?" Tsunade sigh, massaging her temples. 

She definitely regretted accepting becoming Hokage. 

. 

"How is he?" Kakashi asked, looking over Iruka's shoulder as the chuunin answered the door. 

"He fell asleep about an hour ago," Iruka smiled, looking over at the couch, "What's wrong?" 

The silver haired jounin sighed, brushing a few stray strands of blonde hair from his students face. He remembered swearing so many years before to protect his comrades at all costs, and here he was knowingly planning to haul his own student into what could easily turn into a deadly situation. 

"Kakashi, what's wrong?" Iruka asked worriedly. He had never seen his lover so concerned in his life. 

"Hokage-sama has ordered Team Seven on week long mission," Kakashi sighed, looking up at Iruka, "But don't worry, she says everything should be fine." 

Iruka closed his eyes, refusing to show his tears so easily, but knowing it was too late as he tasted the salty tears in his mouth. He had raised Naruto like a son over the years, and now he was being told that he might be dead in a week. But he had to accept it, because that was life as a ninja. 

Death was always around every corner. There was no future, only a present. 

"Don't worry, Iruka, I won't let anything happen to him," Kakashi whispered, wrapping his arms around his brown haired lover, "I promise." 

Iruka smiled weakly, and allowed himself to be carried to bed, falling quickly into a sobering sleep. 

Iruka had never liked the facts that surrounded his ninja life. 

. 

"Now remember, Naruto, you tell Kakashi the _instant_ you feel sick!" Iruka glared at Naruto with a stern eye. 

"Yes, Iruka-sensei," Naruto rolled his eyes, this was the fourth time he had heard the same lecture in the past half hour. 

"Iruka, as much as I would love to stay and eat breakfast all day, we have to get going if we want to be one time," Kakashi pointed out, finishing off his third cup of coffee. 

Naruto wondered secretly if he was storing up all that caffeine somewhere, because the man obviously wasn't using it for energy. He could barely be forced to do anything besides read his dirty book, unless situations forced his hand. 

"Yes, yes, I suppose so. You just better get Naruto back safe and sound," Iruka gave Kakashi a warning glare, and the silver haired jounin chuckled nervously. 

Iruka could be a scary mother-hen when he wanted to be. And he obviously wanted to be now. 

Naruto just rolled his eyes, pulling away from the table with a piece of bacon sticking out of his mouth, and dashed past Kakashi on his way out the door, "See you guys later! Keep some ramen warm for me, Iruka-sensei!" 

"You're going to make me late," the silver haired jounin pointed out with a chuckle, stealing a kiss from Iruka and following Naruto out the door. 

Iruka sighed, and decided that finishing his coffee would be a better start to his day than chasing either of those two down with warnings of health and safety. 

. 

Authoress' Notes: W00t! Another chapter done! . 

On a bit of a side rant, have any of you ever had the feeling that, no matter how young you are, you're getting seriously old? I just received an invitation to a wedding for my best friend from eight grade! O.o I remember talking with this girl about how cute what's-his-name in whichever class was, and now, here she is, getting MARRIED, and I still can't even keep a guy for more than a few months! ;-; 

I suddenly feel like Misato from Eva. I can just imagine it now, the world will end, AND I STILL WON'T GET A DECENT GUY!!! >. I guess that's just me. And, now that I think back on it, I really don't think I want a boy friend. Boy friends are like dogs, you have to give them a bunch of love and attention, and clean up after them. I think I'll just stick with my internet flings. 

Because, in all honesty, a computer is so much easier. And I know _exactly_ how to turn one on and off when I want! . 

Thanks to all my WONDERFUL reviewers: chibified kitsunes, Naatz, chi, Hitomi No Ryu, doodlepye, Petit-Ninja, Dargon Sheinto, Kyuubi-chan, Alamandorious, and DieChan. 

And, to answer the question, no, I will not reveal the pairing for this story before hand. I'll let that be a little secret for later! . 


	4. Sleepy Eyes

If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be sewing my own costumes together, and living off of dollar store food. 

So, in simple terms, I do not own Naruto now, and I doubt I ever will. .

* * *

Dying Inside 

Chapter Four: Sleepy Eyes

* * *

Tsunade had only been half right on the missions status. The client, indeed, had only highered the ninjas for the pleasure of their company on the road back home. Every night he stayed up late by the campfire telling ghost stories, helped with the evening watch, and even made breakfast in the morning when it became apparent that he was the best cook. 

What Kakashi had feared might become another repeat of the Zabuza incident was nothing more than a pleasant walk in the forest, with more than enough time for idle chit chat and dubious reading. 

But, what Tsunade had been wrong about was the length of the trip. She had told Kakashi a week, tops. It had taken the group six days to reach the clients destination, and would take another six to reach home, if the fair weather lasted. 

Unfortunately this meant disobeying Naruto's doctors orders, and possibly sending Iruka into a frenzy of worry back home. Kakashi was wondering if it would be safer to send Naruto into the village first when they arrived, to signal that he was all right to the chuunin. 

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto whispered, tugging gently at the jounnin's vest, "Can we stop for a rest yet?" 

Kakashi eyed the boy, looking him over closely from top to bottom. He had been quiet all day, but had blamed it on a sleepless night and bad dreams, both excuses Kakashi knew to be false from his time on guard duty the previous evening. And the boy had refused his breakfast, saying he was saving room for a big dinner, yet another bad sign. 

"Dobe too weak to even walk far enough for the evening camp?" Sasuke sneered, stopping to eye Naruto quizzically. He had never seen the blonde look so bad in his entire life. 

"Go scout ahead for a good site, Sasuke," Kakashi snapped, drawing his hand away from Naruto's forehead in horror as he felt the scorching heat emanating from the small boy, "We're setting up camp for the night." 

"But sensei, it's not even noon!" Sakura complained as Sasuke dashed down the path. 

"Naruto, how long have you been feeling sick?" the silver haired jounin questioned the boy, ignoring the pink haired girl with ease. 

"I dunno," Naruto smiled weakly, "But it's not that bad. I'm just tired, I'll be fine after a nap." 

"Like hell you will," Kakashi growled, looking up as Sasuke reappeared, panting for breath. He had had to run quite a while to find a suitable camping site. 

"Two miles down the road, there's a good spo- Naruto!" Sasuke yelped in mid sentence, catching the blonde as he collapsed backwards, the blonde's eyes rolling back in his head. 

"Damn it! I told Tsunade this was a bad idea," Kakashi growled, signaling for Sasuke to show him the site as he held Naruto's unconscious form gently in his arms, Sakura following behind, completely lost on what was going on. 

. 

Sasuke replaced the wet rag on his teammates forehead worriedly, wiping away the heavy sweat that was seeping through his yellowish skin. He had to admit, it wasn't looking good for the limp boy. The fever, rather than decreasing, seemed to be burning even hotter with every passing minute, with no end in sight. 

"Will he be all right, sensei?" Sasuke whispered, looking up as Kakashi entered the tent. 

"I don't know. He's very sick, and without medical treatment, I doubt he'll make it," the silver haired jounnin whispered, brushing strands of sweat stained hair off of Naruto's face. 

"If he's so sick, then why did you bring him on the mission!?" Sasuke demanded, "He may die because of you!" 

"Because we're ninjas, and we must always be ready to accept a mission, even at the cost of our own lives," Kakashi replied, looking away from the dark haired boy sobbing in front of him. 

"But not Naruto! I was supposed to beat him," Sasuke hiccuped, "But he was supposed to become Hokage! The Hokage can't die in the forest, not like this!" 

"Supposed to beat him!? Is that all you can think about!?" Kakashi demanded, picking the boy up by his collar, "Is that all you ever think about, power!?" 

"If I could beat the future Hokage," Sasuke sniffled, trying to explain himself, "Then I could prove to Itachi how powerful I really am!" 

"You're pathetic," Kakashi growled angrily, "You'll never beat Itachi by flaunting your victory over a dying boy!" 

"Dying!?" Sakura squeaked, looking past the two angered ninjas at the sick boy. 

Naruto's rasping breaths, proving just how hard he was fighting to fill his lungs with precious air, echoed through the tent. 

. 

Authoress' Notes: 

. 

Yay, another chapter! (And I just realized that has stopped me from using my little kitty anime faces to make my chipper comments even more happy! ;-;) 

Hmmm.... and the plot thickens. Will Naruto live through the next chapter, or will he become yet another casualty to my over angsty imagination!? Stay tuned sometime later for the dramatic non-conclusion at the same fanfic place, same fanfic time! -falls off chair from sarcasm overdose- 

Yeah. I know, I know, I STILL haven't revealed the deadly illness. Probably in the next chapter, the one after that at the latest. But, don't worry, as I FINALLY completed my Temari costume, I should probably be done with the next chapter by Thursday, latest. If it's not posted by then, that means either my power has gone out, or my phone lines have gone down. Both seem to be an actual outcome with the storms currently ravaging the area I live in. 

One again, a WONDERFUL thanks to my WONDERFUL reviewers: trubluewolfeyes, Firegirl531, DieChan, Paranoia-shoujo, insanechildfanfic, Alamandorious, Hitomi No Ryu , Dancing Kitsune, kurokioku, imaginary friend, someone , Dargon Sheinto, dark-and-daisuke, Jiyu Hatell Kodai, fluffy-kins, and Spooy. 

Oh, I'm not sure on whether or not to make this a Naruto x Sasuke fic. I probably won't, or I really might. The jury is still out on that one. Give me a night or two to mull over any other possible relationships, if there are going to be any others. So no promises! 


	5. I'm Sorry

If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be sewing my own costumes together, and living off of dollar store food. 

So, in simple terms, I do not own Naruto now, and I doubt I ever will. .

* * *

Dying Inside 

Chapter Five: I'm Sorry

* * *

Kakashi looked between Sasuke, Sakura, and the still unconscious Naruto. His conditioned had begun to worsen overnight as his skin took a horrible shade of yellow. The skin that had once been a healthy, happy tan was now the color of stringy egg yolks, and the silver haired jounin feared that, if he didn't get the blonde back to Konohagakure within the day, he wouldn't make it. 

He sighed, and hung his head. His only choice was clear. 

"I need you two to stay here," Kakashi explained, "While I get Naruto back to Konoha. No heroic efforts, no following after me. Just stay at camp for a few days." 

"Yes sensei," Sakura whispered, tears shining in her eyes. 

"Sasuke, are you so immature that you can't even receive and obey simple orders!?" Kakashi snapped when the Uchiha boy refused to answer. 

"What's wrong with him?" Sasuke finally spoke up, "You seem to know! What's so terribly wrong with him that you'll drag him out into the field, and then desert the rest of us for his sake!?" 

Kakashi snapped, and slapped the boy across the face, hard, sending him to the ground, his eyes wide. 

"Don't you EVER speak about me or your teammates that way again, do you hear me!? What's wrong with Naruto does not concern you, only the orders I give. You are to stay at this camp until I return!" The jounin snarled, glaring down at the prodigy and collecting the suffering blonde into his arms. 

"I'll make sure he obeys, sensei," Sakura spoke up, glancing between the two angry ninjas as Kakashi sped off down the path, Naruto swathed in his arms. 

. 

Two days later-Konohagakure 

. 

"When did he pass out?" Tsunade snapped as an exhausted Kakashi handed a nearly dead boy over to the hospital staff. 

"Three days ago," Kakashi panted, trying to catch his breath. He had run the entire way, "His skin started to yellow later that evening." 

"Is he going to live?" Iruka asked nervously, handing his lover a cup of water, looking up at the Hokage. 

She shook her head, hiding her tears skillfully. Truthfully, she was surprised he had lasted as long as he had out in the wilderness. Anyone else would undoubtedly be dead by now. 

"I don't know yet, Iruka. But he's a strong boy, I doubt he'll let a silly virus defeat him now, eh?" 

Iruka smiled, and nodded, tears streaming down his face. Tsunade had never been a very skillful liar compared to his other students. 

"Hokage-sama, he's crashing!" a nurse shouted, hurrying by the threesome, wheeling a crash cart in front of her. 

Tsunade nodded curtly, following quickly behind, throwing off her billowing coat to free herself up in the emergency room, leaving Iruka to sob openly into Kakashi's arms. They both knew that it was probably useless to hold up hope now, if even Tsunade was lying about it. 

. 

Naruto yawned, snuggling closer to the Kyuubi as the cave began to crack around him, the damp darkness at the far end fading into nothing. The demon growled as it wrapped its tails even closer around the little boy, trying desperately to stay off the fate that would destroy them both. 

"Don't worry Kyuubi, it'll be over in an instant," the blonde smiled, petting the soft red fur of the demon. 

"I don't want it to be over! How can you give up on life so easily when it has barely even begun!" the Kyuubi roared, shaking the boy. 

"Because I hate my life as it is now," Naruto sighed, looking up into the demon's eyes, "Besides, there's nothing that can save us now. It's hopeless to fight this." 

"I will fight until my dying breath!" the demon howled, his voice echoing through the collapsing chambers of the blonde's mind. 

"Why?" Naruto asked curiously. 

"Because the moon will rise tomorrow, and the butterflies will flap their new wings, and the spiders will spin their webs anew, and life will go on! I refuse to trade in my life so easily, to surrender to some virus! I have not lived for nine thousand years just to give up here and now! I will not go easily into that dark place!" 

"I like butterflies. They're happy, and spiders too. And the moon on midwinter's night, and the sunset in August," Naruto daydreamed, unconsciously handing control over to the Kyuubi, and allowing him to fight this last battle for him. 

. 

"How is he!?" Iruka pleaded as Tsunade emerged from the room many hours later. 

Shadows lay thick under her eyes, and she looked to have run ten marathons instead of just attending to a little boy. But she looked a little more cheerful coming out than she had coming in, and that held up hope for both Kakashi and Iruka. 

"He's alive, for now. We had to put him on a dialysis machine, his liver has failed entirely. If he doesn't get a transplant soon, I doubt he'll make it." 

"There aren't any donors, are there?" Kakashi asked with a sigh, slumping back in his chair. He had rescued the boy from a quick death in the forest to deliver him into a worse torture in the hospital. 

"What do you mean? I'm sure someone in Konoha is a match! You can't give up hope so easily, he will survive!" Iruka sobbed, wiping away his tears furiously. 

"Iruka, the demon blood in him would refuse any human donor," Tsunade explained, "That's why we could never go through a transplant before, when he was healthier." 

"But what about Gaara? We didn't know about him before, but he could be a match, couldn't he?" Iruka asked, his eyes begging her to say yes. 

She shook her head, looking away from the frantic chuunin. 

"Gaara's sand would never allow the operation. And, even if we were to find a way, Shukaku would undoubtedly emerge when we put him under," Tsunade whispered, settling a hand gently on his shoulder, "I'm sorry Iruka, but there's nothing left to do now but make him comfortable in what little time he has left." 

"No! I refuse to believe it! I refuse to believe that he has to die!" Iruka wailed, his voice echoing through the corridors as Kakashi pinched a vital nerve in his neck, catching him easily as he slipped into unconsciousness. 

"I'll send another team to go out and fetch Sasuke and Sakura," Tsunade whispered, brushing a few loose bangs from her face. 

"No, it's my responsibility, and I'll get them. I should be the one to explain to them about Naruto anyway," Kakashi whispered, bowing somberly and walking slowly toward his home, Iruka whimpering in his arms. 

. 

Authoerss' Note: 

. 

;-; I nearly sobbed when I wrote Iruka's part in this chapter. To have to listen as it's explained that your loved one has no chance to survive is horrible, especially for him. I ended up giving in, and letting him quote Fritz the dolphin (Toho edition of the Little Mermaid). It seemed so right. 

I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, there were quite a few of you! -.- I was surprised about the sheer force of the anti SasuNaru! O.o (Let it be stated now that I am a HUGE SasuNaru fan, and an even bigger NejiNaru, but this story will NOT be SasuNaru! Naruto will be Sasuke's best friend, however. But, as that's in the manga, I see no problem with it.) 

I would have updated sooner, but my cat ended up chewing up the skirt of my Temari costume, my Gaara plushie's costume (Yes, my Gaara plushie had his own little kimono), and she ate my Cthulhu plushie's kimono. Which means, with only two days left until I leave for Kumori Con, I have to re sew my plushie's costumes, and find a way to replace my Temari fans. I was able to make a new skirt, thankfully. -.- 


	6. Danced with the Sun

If I owned Naruto I wouldn't be sewing my own costumes together, and living off of dollar store food. 

So, in simple terms, I do not own Naruto now, and I doubt I ever will. .

* * *

Dying Inside 

Chapter Six: Danced with the Sun

* * *

"Kyuubi? What's going on?" Naruto asked, looking around the shimmering room. He was sure he'd be dead by now, but, instead, he seemed to feel healthier than he had in years. 

"We're not dead yet, that's what's going on," the demon panted, exhausted by the never ending find she was engaged in. 

"If I destroyed the seal, you could escape, as long as you promised not to hurt Konohagakure," Naruto smiled weakly, waving his hands at the bars of the iron cage, "It would only be fair payment for having to deal with being inside of me all these years." 

"You stupid brat, don't you think I wouldn't have found a way to escape after being captive for so many years!? I'm not leaving you to die alone like this!" Kyuubi roared, Naruto smiling and closing his eyes. 

"Thank you, Kyuubi, you're my best friend," the blonde whispered, falling into a deep sleep. 

"And you're my only cub," the demon replied, cuddling his shaking form closer to herself. 

. 

"Sasuke, get back here, Kakashi-sensei told us not to run off on our own!" Sakura shouted, dashing after the bobbing head of black hair exhaustedly. 

Almost immediately after Kakashi's departure the teenager had taken it upon himself to run after his friend, leaving Sakura to hurriedly pack up camp and follow after. He could only hope that they wouldn't run into their teacher burying their teammate half way home. 

"Sasuke!" Sakura shouted, her voice ringing angrily through the woods. 

"I thought I told you to stay back at camp," Kakashi growled, grabbing the boy viciously by the back of the neck, and hauling him off the ground, Sakura appearing behind him, panting heavily. 

"Where's Naruto, how is he!?" Sasuke demanded immediately, ignoring the anger flaring through his teacher's eyes. 

"I have some things to explain before I let you see your teammate," Kakashi sighed, putting the boy down. It would be better that he get the how and why questions out of the way now, before they got to the hospital. It would give them more time to say good bye, Kakashi knew. 

"He's not dead yet, is he?" Sakura asked meekly, tears coming to her eyes as she collapsed to her knees, exhausted. 

"You have to understand, Naruto has been very sick for most of his life," Kakashi began, "And it's been a miracle that he lasted as long as he has. Just be happy that you two were able to be his friends when an entire Village refused that honor." 

"If he's been so sick then why did the Hokage let him become a ninja!?" Sasuke demanded, wiping away the tears that were springing to his eyes. 

"Because it was what he wanted. All his life he wanted to become a ninja, to save others from his fate, to keep them from suffering like he had," the jounin smiled sadly, kneeling down and handing Sakura a handkerchief, "You see, when Naruto was very young, he was... attacked. That's how he became sick, he has Hepatitis B. Afterwards, he swore that he would become a ninja, and become strong enough to stop other people from hurting children like they had hurt him." 

"Hepatitis!? But that's a sexually... oh god, Naruto!" Sakura sobbed, realizing what the blonde must have endured the entire time, what pain he must be suffering now. 

"Can't we at least say good bye?" Sasuke asked, finding it very hard to talk and control his emotions at once. 

"Follow me, we're only a few hours away from the hospital," Kakashi whispered, jumping into the trees overhead. 

. 

"Iruka-sensei?" Naruto wheezed, looking up at the ceiling above him, his eyes cloudy and unfocussed. 

"Shh, Naruto, save your strength for getting better," Iruka whispered, wiping tears out of his eyes as he clutched the boy's hand tighter, trying to reassure him that he was not alone. 

"That's okay, sensei, I'm not afraid of dying anymore," Naruto smiled, turning toward his teacher. 

"No, that's not true! You're going to get better, you're going to beat this, and become Hokage, and be the most infamous ninja ever to exist!" Iruka sobbed, shaking his head, stroking the blonde's soft hair. 

"Don't worry, Iruka, it doesn't hurt anymore," Naruto whispered, his eyes closing peacefully as he began to struggle for every breath. 

"Naruto, please, wake up! Don't die, please, don't die!" Iruka screamed, squeezing the boy's pale, cold hand as he begged and sobbed, doctors rushing into the room as the heart monitor began flat lining. 

. 

"Don't worry, Kyuubi, you can go now," the blonde whispered, stroking the demon's soft fur, "Thank you for being my friend." 

"Don't worry, kit, it won't hurt, I promise," Kyuubi cried, nudging the boy's silent form with her nose as the walls that had held her captive for so long caved in around her, freeing her from the prison that had kept her trapped for twelve long, all too short years. 

. 

"Iruka, what's wrong?" Kakashi asked, coming to a stop suddenly in front of Naruto's room, looking over the sobbing man. 

"He, he," Iruka sobbed, shaking his head as the tears escaped his eyes, making him completely incapable of speech. 

But he didn't need to speak for the silver haired jounin to know what was wrong. The only reason his lover would be sobbing outside of his student's room would be if it was too painful to be sobbing inside of the room. 

Because that would have to mean Naruto was dead. 

"Iruka-sensei?" Sakura asked, looking between the two men questioningly, "Is Naruto okay?" 

"I'm sorry, Sakura, but it seems we arrived too late," Kakashi whispered, placing a hand gently on her and Sasuke's shoulders, even as the pink haired girl collapsed in tears. 

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked, his eyes wide as his body began to shake, "He's just playing a bad joke on us, he can't be dead. He can't die before he achieves his dream," Sasuke muttered under his breath, his body going pale as a thin layer of sweat began to form. 

"Sasuke, are you okay?" Kakashi asked, kneeling at eye level with the boy, letting Iruka take the sobbing girl. 

"He's probably just playing a bad joke," Sasuke explained, looking at his teacher, "He's always playing bad joke on everyone, you know. He's a dobe that way," the Uchiha insisted. 

"I'm sorry, Sasuke, but this isn't a joke. He's dead," Kakashi insisted, knowing that the boy must be going into shock, "You have to accept that." 

"But why did he have to die?" Sasuke asked, looking through his teacher, tears streaming down his face as he collapsed under the strain of the past three days. 

. 

The weather was sunny, so much like the small boy that they were lowering into the ground, the few people attending the graveside ceremony weeping openly. The gathering, a small collection of the infamous rookie nine, and a few teachers attending as well, but the opinion of the villagers had remained the same the entire time. 

The village did not mourn, the weather did not cry, only a few young children would remember the sunny disposition of the blonde. 

"... and we all mourn for such a boy, who's candle burned so brightly for so long," Tsunade whispered, tears streaming down her face as she tossed a white carnation onto the casket. 

Kakashi was there, supporting a sobbing, inconsolable Iruka. Sakura beside him, crying as well. But Sasuke was unable to attend the funeral. He had been asleep since he had collapsed outside of Naruto's hospital room three days before, the doctors claiming the stress of losing yet another person close to him overwhelming his mind. 

But they assured everyone that he would be fine, given some time to rest. Just as they had assured everyone that Naruto would be fine. 

. 

Sasuke tossed and turned in his bed, sobbing and crying out in his sleep for his family, screaming for his mother as the darkness turned a shade more sinister. But it was in vain, his house was empty, and no one would come to his call, or light a candle to stave off his nightmares. 

"Naruto, please, no!" Sasuke shrieked, bolting up in bed, his eyes open and unseeing. 

"Don't worry, he isn't gone," a voice whispered, a brief orange glow circling the boy and purring into his ear, "He'll never be gone as long as you remember." 

"Who are you?" Sasuke asked, tears coming to his eyes as he became aware of the environment around him. 

"One who will not forget about a little blonde boy who danced and laughed in the sun," the voice replied, echoing around the Uchiha's silent room. 

"But I miss him so much, it hurts so much," Sasuke whimpered, curling up and hiding from the world. 

"It will hurt, and the pain may never go away, but at least you'll remember your best friend. And if you remember the good times, he'll never truly leave you," the voice giggled, crisp and clear, dancing around the crying boy. 

"How could I forget my best friend?" Sasuke sobbed, the voice smiling as it looked down upon him. 

He would hurt and cry for now, but he would get better, and he would remember the one who had sent her. He would remember Naruto, her little cub, and his memory would live on in the next Hokage as a good boy, and a good ninja who fought for Konoha, and died in honor. 

. 

Owari. 

. 

Authoress' Note: 

Yay, it's finally over! Okay, so it was a horribly sappy ending, but I needed to end this story, and this was the first way that came to mind. Well, the details were the first way that came to mind, I had always intended for Naruto to die. The specifics surrounding his death were always a little blurry. 

Well, Kumori Con was last weekend, hence the lateness of this story. I had food poisoning and a high fever the entire weekend, but I still worked 12 hours a day, and helped out as Night Manager of Security! . So, if you were there, you probably saw me running around and helping out! . 

On , in the Kumori Con 2004 section, you'll see a LOT of pics of an entire Naruto Cosplay groupe (Bakazoku included . ) that was having fun running around. I was there as well, as Temari, but I had to leave my Gaara plushie at home. I was unable to re-sew his costume. ;-; 

Here's to next year, and an even BETTER Kumori Con. (Oh, many apologies to everyone who was turned away at the door. We had 1251.5 people attend, that's three times the size of the previous Con. It simply came down to a safety issue about letting people in, not a personal one. Next year we'll have a LOT more room, rest assured! . ) 


End file.
